Wednesday, October 24, 2007
My husband and I both at the age of one.
My dress is one that my maternal grandfather picked out for me. It was white with yellow trim - it hangs in the guest bedroom now.
I find old photos fascinating for so many reasons. Photos of children are particularly compelling when you know the adult. It is fascinating to realize that this child in the image is the person you know but the child knows very little of what he is or what he will become.
It makes one think of the twists and turns life takes - decisions made and paths taken. One considers the points of no return that make us who we are - the points of no return that make our loved ones who they are. It helps appreciate the complexity of life and how beautiful life is because of that complexity and yet how painful it is.
These children are us - my husband and I with two children of our own. The memories are our's alone - summed up in the file cabinet of our mind - held in these frail bodies. The twenty years before hubby met me are his alone - I can only see them faintly and certainly not clearly. The nineteen years before I met him belong to me - they make me who I was - who he fell in love with - who I am but he cannot comprehend them.
Odd - we marry strangers and we become one. We share our lives and yet tucked away like a box in the attic is the person they met - the person we met - the person that seemed worth getting to know.
It is strange - we are ordained to leave our parents and cleave to one another. I think it was Steinbeck I read who wrote how cleaving means two very opposite things to tear apart and to bind tightly together and how words fascinated him because of those contradictions.
What part of cleaving is tearing apart - what part of marriage is separation? I think it is more than leaving our parents - there is a separation of the individual from one's self as you become something more - part of a we. A 'we' that begets a family and precedes to continue to march through the generations filling the earth.
The Word became flesh and dwelt among us.
Have you ever held onto a Word?
I apologize for the meander...