Monday, October 23, 2006

pride and loneliness

This post is about loneliness really. But before I ramble on about loneliness. I have to say...I took an adult bible fellowship once that postulated that pride is at the root of all sin...and if you start looking at sin and how it plays out in ones life - I think there is a very strong argument for pride. Lucifer fell on account of his pride and his goal is to get us to follow his ways...that said - I think one of the tricks he uses is loneliness.

So far today I've been busy and productive. C has been difficult lately and yet I managed to keep my cool and not lose my temper with her (although I could perhaps be more tender to her - but that is a different can of worms altogether). We grocery shopped and the girls behaved reasonably well. There is a provincial beef stew simmering upstairs, an apple pie cooling, and a loaf of pineapple bread. There are clean dishes and folded laundry. There have been good emails today too. So, there is no reason for suddenly feeling isolated and alone. But I do. And somehow with the loneliness comes the feeling that none of it matters. I could just curl up in bed and hibernate for awhile.

As I hiked up and down the stairs organizing - I contemplated my unrest and realized just how deceptive loneliness is. We are never alone...God promises us that and it is often said that when we feel He is not there it is because we have our back turned to Him. And with that thought, came the realization that loneliness creates an inertia that is every bit as sinful as the attitudes and actions that come out of pride. And perhaps, if I cared to examine it, I would find that in my loneliness, there are seeds of pride.

1 comment: